Being extraordinary – Paris Undressed

“I can have an ordinary day or an extraordinary one.” Author Kathryn Kemp-Griffin said about what seeing her first French bra reminds her of.

When do you buy lingerie? For Valentine’s Day? A romantic getaway? A big date with a new lover? Your birthday, or even for your man’s birthday? We splurge on lingerie for special occasions. But the point made in Paris Undressed is that French women purchase and wear lingerie any and every old day, no special occasion (read: sex) required. Just as the French have a joie de vivre with food & drink, they do too with lingerie. It’s about being enveloped in luxury all the time, appreciating top quality against your skin, and loving yourself enough to feel pampered everyday.

Although in her comparisons, she refers to American women/consumers, I’d like to think Canadian born Kemp-Griffin meant to include Canadians too, so I will say North American women.  We’re all about the huge lingerie chains in North America, with the BOGO way of shopping. Personally, I don’t shop at “big box stores” for bras, because I don’t care for all those flimsy uncomfortable materials, and see the quality isn’t meant to last. But I admit to being too intimidated to walk into a small upscale shop. The happy medium I choose is department stores, and occasionally, online.

When you buy a new bra, do you also pick up the matching panty? Right – there is no matching panty. So many bras in North America are sold on their own.  We don’t (can’t?) match our underwear all the time. (Unless, of course, it’s a “special occasion” ) The French not only insist on matching, but consider it an art. French women wouldn’t dépareillé, mismatch, unless it’s purposeful and with great flair, as Kemp-Griffin explained.

 

I enjoyed contemplating what effect the advent of feminism may have had on women’s underwear. Did we stop succumbing to the trappings of seduction at the cost of denying ourselves the pleasure of lovely lingerie? Simplicity took over in the 1970’s, and froufrou was frowned upon. Modern day boy shorts and granny panties are certainly non sensual names for underwear. Being so used to having no details or extras on tshirt bras, and keeping it simple & casual with seamless panties, it was interesting to read about fibres and lace, and their impact on the wearer.

I learned about sister sizes, and know now why my very good quality Calvin Klein bra that I bought in my usual size doesn’t fit. The idea of going through your collection and saying au revoir or bonjour is right up my alley. I’m one for, at the beginning of the year, clearing out. I have purged 8 bras! Now, to replenish with proper fitting beauties…

You have to love the French way of silhouette defining. They took away referring to our shapes as fruit like pears and apples, and instead gave us visually appealing names such as O for ooh la la and V for va va voom. It is helpful to read lingerie suggestions for every figure accompanied by Paloma Casile’s pretty illustrations in the aptly titled chapter Hide & Peek. There’s even a panty pattern for the creative design types, as well as a chapter on creating your own lingerie journal. To close the book, you’ve got a helpful expanded glossary, a French brands listing, and a guide to Parisian boutiques.

I felt like I was there on the walk Kemp-Griffin described in her first month in Paris, and could understand how she became involved in the world of lingerie. Kemp-Griffin’s company Paris Lingerie Tours provides tours of French lingerie boutiques to help women receive a “renewed sense of femininity, confidence and elegance.”

Give yourself a Valentine of Paris Undressed, and I’ll bet, the next thing you know, you’ll be revamping your lingerie drawer.

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I received my copy of Paris Undressed The Secrets of French Lingerie by House of Anansi Press Inc.

Until next time,

Kara

Bawdy: Five women’s stories

“You can call me Honey.”

“I’ll call you whatever you want me to, Honey. Now let’s get to business.”

Honey just stood, almost in a trance dreading what the next twenty minutes was going to be like. She hated herself right now. She hated this man. She hated all men who thought that a quick romp with a young hooker was going to make them feel better about themselves. But who was she to judge? 
She had only been doing this for a few months, but it felt like a decade. Nothing had gone as planned since she left the Rez. She was so cocky and arrogant when she left. She was going to make it. She was going to be different. Now she was just another goddamn statistic; another failed Indian.
Vancouver was sucking her soul out. Such a beautiful city with such an ugly underbelly. She missed the trees, she missed the land. Mostly, she missed her mother and brothers.”

That excerpt is from Bawdy: Five women. 5 stories. I spoke with author J. Afton Forde about the sordid subject matter and her reasons for choosing to write about it.

Books and Brands:  Is this your first novel? Why did you choose the topic of prostitution?

J. Afton Forde:  Yes it is (first published). The topic was chosen for 2 reasons.  I was interested in the debate that was going on between the City (of Toronto), the police and public around this issue.  The police were not charging the prostitutes, as many of the cases were being thrown out.  The city was talking about a red light district or legalizing brothels.

It begged the question, is either option opposed on a moral level or on a legal one?  By controlling this industry are you making it easier for women to get into ‘the trade’?  I wanted to know more.  As well, I had a friend when I was in my early twenties who became an escort. I was appalled and thought she could do much better with her future, but she made a choice, and it ended our friendship.

B&B:  Are these women’s stories non-fiction or reality based fiction?

JAF:  I spoke with at least 45 active prostitutes, escorts and a dominatrix over 2 years, gathering their stories anonymously.  Every story and woman in this book is real.

B&B:  You said the women you spoke to trust no one – how did you get them to open up to you, or why did they choose to speak with you and share their, in many cases, horribly abusive stories?

JAF:  It took time and repeat discussions, meetings over coffee and email. I could not pay them for their time, but once I explained I was not mocking what they do and simply wanted the truth, they opened up, slowly.  

B&B:  It’s challenging not to have judgments about women who willingly work in the sex industry – you said you had your own preconceived notions/stereotypes. What were some things that you learned from the women that shattered any stereotypes, or caused you to think of them in a different way?

JAF:   That they are like every woman.  They have bills to pay, lives to upkeep.  They want a place in the world and to be loved.  Nothing anyone can say to them will ever be worse than what their families or friends have already said.  I really expected them to be from marginalized families.  Some were, but many were not.  They were from the suburbs and had a very typical upbringing.  The only common factor was the ability for a man to undermine them emotionally, then exploit them.

B&B:  From your research, did you find that prostitution is not hard to miss, is rampant in Toronto, or is it a small, hidden industry?

         

JAF:   It is less visible in terms of driving around and seeing the girls on the street. Kingston Road was notorious a few years back for the girls being out on the street.  Church and Wellesley was also well known.  With the yuppification and gentrification of many of these areas, they have been pushed out.  A lot of it is now on-line (just look at the back of Now Magazine) or in private events – that is the norm now.  About 20 years ago, Bloor West residents marched and took photos of the John’s license plates until the hookers left. Queen West was also quite bad (I lived there at the time) in the 80’s.  It has moved father west into Parkdale since the Hipsters took over Queen and Dufferin.  Who you see on the streets are mostly addicts with no protection.

B&B:  After the brutal acts committed against Glory, one assumes she wouldn’t want to have anything to do anymore with selling sex, yet she doesn’t run from it, but becomes further involved. What did that tell you about the choices she felt she had, or the realization she made that she could cash in on prostitution in a bigger way?

  
JAF:   It is all she knows.  People tend to hover near the familiar.  It is why women tend to select abusive mates when they have experienced the same abuse at the hands of a father or parent.  They know how to work with it, it is familiar.  It may be wrong and it is a destructive pattern, but they often don’t know how to handle what some may call a ‘normal’ relationship.  Glory made horrible choices.  She heard the voices in her head telling not to do things, yet she did them anyway.  She never had the advantage of anyone guiding her in a positive way, or providing her with the tools to deal with these situations.

B&B:  How much of your own self or view point comes through in your writing? 

JAF:   I am in here too.  I know what it is like to grow up under the dark cloud of alcoholism and abuse. I have seen first hand family members spiral downwards and make the same self-destructive choices again and again.  I enjoyed adding some eccentricities and –isms here and there to try to add some depth to the characters.

  

B&B:  What do you have planned next, are you working on something now? 

JAF:   Bawdy is actually the 2^nd book I wrote.  The first one ‘Sisters’ was put onto the back burner when I got consumed by Bawdy.  Sisters dove-tails into Bawdy, but is not as heavy handed.  It is about a woman (Jos, from Dawson City in Bawdy) who is at a breaking point in her life, wins the lottery and …. Well, you will have to wait for it to come out in 2017. 

Bawdy: Five women. 5 stories is available on Amazon.com in Kindle Edition. I received my copy of Bawdy from author J. Afton Forde.  

Until next time,

Kara

Tis the season!

 It’s in the air: the nostalgic sound of carolers & jingle bells; the familiar scent of gingerbread & evergreens; and the feeling of crisp, snow filled air. The pleasant thoughts of what’s to come leaves us in anticipation. Many of us are stressed this time of year though. We’ve got long lists of things to check off, and we can’t wait to hurry up and relax on the couple of days we have off. Along with the glossy magazines that show us how to achieve the “perfect” Christmas in every way, there are oh so helpful articles suggesting we take time to really enjoy the holidays, which includes not putting so much pressure on yourself. I’ve always liked the image of curling up on a snowy December afternoon with a cup of hot chocolate and a Christmas novel. But with so many things to do, starting a full length book isn’t realistic. Luckily I discovered short Christmas novellas, which are a nice little thing you too can give yourself this season. You can escape for just 15 minutes a day with a sweet Christmas story.

A Christmas Kiss is part of author Susan Hatler’s Kissed by the Bay series. Busy divorce attorney Harper Avery spends all her energy on her clients, and has no time for romance herself, due to her cynical nature. Last minute Christmas plans find her snowed in at a cozy cabin in Lake Tahoe.  She planned to be alone, but discovers also there is her worst nightmare – or is it her secret fantasy?

Christmas in Kissinger by Misty Simon is a look at the lives of several friends in a small Pennsylvania town. There are three stories featuring independent women who aren’t looking for love, but find themselves swept away by captivating men. The narratives are told from both the women’s and the men’s point of view, which is refreshing. And, what’s this? A couple even get raunchy, which was an unexpected spicy surprise for a Christmas novelette!

These books are ideal for the holiday – under 150 pages, easy, feel good reads that can put you into a cheery Christmas spirit. I received both books from NetGalley.

Until next time,

Kara

Washing up with e.l.f.

I treated myself by ordering something different, e.l.f.’s new Hydrating Bubble Mask.  I was intrigued by the description of a gel that transforms to a bubble mask, with bubbling foam cleansing the skin. My curiosity won, I just had to try it! So did it deliver?

Luckily, dispensing the gel is easy, and that small amount of gel produced all these bubbles for my face and neck.

These are the bubbles while foaming. For the first application, I kept it on for 10 minutes, and the second time, the bubbles were long gone after 5 minutes, and my skin was left with the gel remaining, which I massaged in and rinsed off. The results are a sleek, smooth feeling face.

At a cost of $18 CAD, the Hydrating Bubble Mask is more of a mini luxury for me. I use it once a week and anticipate it coming in handy for the dry winter months ahead.

The Daily Face Cleanser was part of our surprise Halloween Treat. It gives me a light refreshing wash, and the clean scent is pleasant, not perfumed. My face isn’t left tight or dry, but soft and a bit moisturized. I don’t need to use much either, and it lathers up nicely. This would be a great cleanser for those with sensitive skin.

These cleansers have delivered on what the details stated for me, and I would easily recommend them.

Until next time,

Kara

Tasty lips with e.l.f. Berry Bordeaux and Plumper

Couldn’t wait to get my hands, or should I say lips, on e.l.f.’s Velvet Matte Lipstick  and Primer & Plumper.  I applied the primer, then the lipstick, and finished it off with the plumper. The cinnamony flavour of the plumper is something I like, and I was pleasantly surprised that the lipstick has a slight cinnamon taste too. The strongly pigmented colour goes on well and looks good on my pale complexion. I’ve worn it also without the plumper, for more of a matte look. Some touch up’s were needed after eating. Colour remained at the end of the day, which comes off with makeup remover.



Berry Bordeaux is a perfect autumn colour. Nice to see that the bottom of the lipstick isn’t just the colour being displayed. The bottom of the lipstick tube pops off to reveal a secret lip balm! Kudos to e.l.f. for adding this extra feature!

Overall, even when converted to Canadian dollars, these e.l.f. lip products are a great value.

Until next time,

Kara

Excited over e.l.f.!

If there’s one thing I’ve always loved is a good bargain. So when I saw ads for e.l.f., I was curious and had to check them out. Their very reasonably priced lipsticks is what got me.


I easily have 10 lip products on rotation each season. I enjoy trying everything; matte, glosses, stain and liners. Different types of face cleansers are another goodie I collect. My Mr. has asked many times why I need to have so many in the shower? (He doesn’t understand my need for variety.) For my sister Wanda, it’s all about the eyes. She likes to experiment with all kinds of eye shadows, liners, and creams. So we easily found many options on e.l.f.’s user friendly site. They included mystery gifts with purchase, and I do like surprises.  Plus, everyone’s favourite, free shipping, so really, we couldn’t go wrong!

This is the Halloween Treat that came with our order, which we were pleased to open. We divided the treats and began using everything right away. Reviews are next up…

Until next time,

Kara

Fearless Flavia is back to find who done it

           

Full disclosure: I don’t read murder mysteries. Perhaps it’s because the typical format of a mystery doesn’t keep my interest. Many twists and turns, and characters to keep straight. It’s the same with mystery tv series or movies with plots that are difficult to follow. I don’t like to press pause too often to get a recap from my Mr.  I like escape while I’m reading, not to have to work hard, you know?

So I wasn’t sure how the latest in the Flavia de Luce Novels, Thrice the Brinded Cat Hath Mew’d, would work with my short attention span. This was the type of read I did have to give my full attention to if I really wanted to grasp the story line & characters. Once I set aside all distractions and focused on the unraveling story, what I most enjoyed was Flavia’s flare. The unique voice of 11 year old Falvia is wise beyond her young years. She reminds me of a curious cat. Fearless, keen and silly. She makes for a quick witted amusing protagonist.  As well, Alan Bradley is my kind of author. He is a highly descriptive writer. I appreciate when an author creates a piece of art through generous detail. There are many clever comparisons, and humorous situations and dialogue. I found myself smiling a lot, which is a wonderful feeling to receive from a book.

Thrice the Brinded Cat Hath Mew’d is the kind of story directors and producers would be itching to bring to the big screen. I could easily imagine Flavia bicycling all over town and the hi-jinks she gets herself into. So I wasn’t surprised when I learned there is a Flavia de Luce British series, which I will be checking out.

Mystery lovers will adore Thrice the Brinded Cat Hath Mew’d, but I wouldn’t limit it to only those who read that genre, as it sure passed the “test” for me.

I received Thrice the Brinded Cat Hath Mew’d in a GoodReads giveaway.

Until next time,

Kara