There's a lot to learn about, cheer for, and feel sadness over in Jan Redford's memoir End of the Rope.
Jan begins sharing with us the start of her feminism. She was stronger and better at building than her uncles. She wanted her father's life, not her mother's: She wanted to be an adventurer, not marry one. She didn't want to help her mom, but be with her dad. Jan shares many anecdotes from her youth, like going down the boys slide, and how she flexed like a muscle man after rock climbing when her siblings found her. Even her backpack named Beast was a he. Her need throughout is to lead a climb, not follow.
Jan felt she was a perfect example of "the 'Cinderella complex', the absolute worst feminist walking the earth." She wanted the men she was with to look out for her on their outdoor adventures.
The struggle of wanting men to save you, I get. It's the fantasy of wanting them (men) to want to save you.
She mentions the Harlequin romance bodice ripping image, the "bad boys" she was drawn to. Again, something I'm sure many of us women can relate to.
I learned so much about the mind of outdoor adventurers, aka adrenaline junkies, risk takers and thrill seekers. A big takeaway was many have a life wish, not a death wish. Her boyfriend Dan who died tragically at least lived doing what he loved. When I think of my climber cousin Matt Westlake who also lives in Alberta, that makes sense to me, as he's such a positive life loving person.
The most difficult chapter was Pink Wedding Dress. Reading about the red flags with Grant left me with a sinking sadness for her. You can visualize the conversation when Jan many years later told her sister it (the problems between them) was the house, and her sister responded softly it's not the house.
She told herself many things but the truth, like maybe she didn't need a degree, but to be more committed to the marriage.
It was refreshing to read her realistic feelings about motherhood & her failing marriage. She wasn't all ga-ga about being pregnant again, she even made a pros & cons list about having another baby. She's very brave to write those truths. Her envy about her husband's climbs was loud and clear. She often mentioned his physique & resented her mom bod.
Jan had complicated feelings towards her dad, which is a shared experience for many of us. Love filled hate she called it. Great insight into her feelings about her dad. She even says she married her dad. And I can't believe her father apologized to her!
Jan Redford got down to the gritty truth in her memoir, and wasn't interested in painting a perfect pretty picture. Life is full of highs and lows, and End of the Rope represents that.
I'll be watching this movie for sure (because it's definitely movie material).
I received End of the Rope in a GoodReads giveaway.
Until next time,
Kara
